Because...of course I'm back and fatter than ever.I was hospitalized back in January of 2021, and then gained ~60lbs in a year, and now I'm fatter than ever but I need to get my stuff together and lose weight.
Not just because I'm fat and need to be beautiful and thin; but because top surgery was approved and If i can't get down to my old weight, I doubt they operate....so here we are again. The plan; Today - Tuesday; Eating nothing. Coffee, sugar free creamer, water and tea. That's it. Get my butt into gear Wenesday: 800 calories Thursday - Monday (10am) - Fasting Monday 10am - Thursday 10am - AIT plan Repeat God, smh
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First Week:
Decrease calories to 1000 a day. If you eat more, you must burn it all off. Read nutrition labels. Do 100 squats a day Haven't been doing the squats but I'm slowly tapering off my intake. Feeling great. Still have a sweet tooth so i'm battling that, but it's getting there. Found a roommate! : just hope i'm approved for my apartment so i don't have to move. I'm so fucking relieved. Fuck i've been so stressed about that it's not even funny, but now it's a weight off my shoulders. Now, it's time to find a new job, but i'm thankful i found a new roommate. It's one step at a time. One more year here and i'll afford a house ) that way I no longer have to rely on finding a new roommate ever again and can just finally settle down and be chilled out. Might need to put myself in the hospital one last time eventually but I'm not that bad just yet. YET is the keyword. Maybe once i drop the weight. I should have like...super pretty hair by the time i'm at my goal weight ; Why can't I be skinny noooowww aaaaaaaaaaa eugh it's fine...it's fine I'm still dropping weight. I'm still making progress. It's fine. Really. The surgery went well but I'm back at my high weight somehow. I feel like such a fucking fat failure. I don't trust IVs anymore, that shit probably made me gain. That, and i've just been out of control lately.
That's pathetic and I know....but I need to get back on track (sound familiar?) eugh. I hate myself so much but I've been so stressed about moving and shit. It's not even funny. I have to find a roommate soon, or I have to afford my place by myself and I don't earn that much. Been trying to apply to Aldis but fucking they haven't responded in forever. I also have a backup plan for a house with some people but like...I really don't want to move again. At least for another year, but that's the backup plan. Right now i'm 237.8 (Which was better than like...the first day after surgery where i was like fucking 244lbs and i was fucking DOA). My balance beam says the same thing but the kg side says that i'm like 260 and that's some bull. fucking. shit. Yeah. What the actual fuck. Anyways, I wanna drop like 20 lbs within a month at least, so I'm gonna do like that pathetic like 'ana in training' bull shit just to get on track. If you're not sure what that is it's: First Week: Decrease calories to 1000 a day. If you eat more, you must burn it all off. Read nutrition labels. Do 100 squats a day Second Week: Decrease calorie limit to 500 calories a day. If you eat more, you must burn it all off. 250 squats a day Third Week: Same as second week. You can start taking weight loss pills if you want, too. Fourth Week to forever: 500 calories a day. Create control. 300 squats daily Continue to take pills if desired. I'm taking diet pills through the month (hydroxycut hardcore) and....eugh. I hate restarting but...this is probably what i need. Honestly. |
AuthorMx. Elliot - 23 - DISGUSTING ArchivesCategories |